Chapter 69

I Am Him


I was so frustrated, I felt helpless and I literally went to the last bank that might use what I had in collateral with the hotel to give me a loan to pay my step mother out. But I was in too much debt. Too much stacked against me to even be considered for another loan.


It was inevitable, but I didn’t want to accept it. I was either left with the choice of sell up and lose it all … or… or!!! Or No. I had my pride. I still felt like I couldn’t fall to my knees and beg for Sean Hyatt to save my hotel. I knew he would buy me out in a second and run this place like his personal little play house. Just like he did with the Hyatt.

I walked through the lobby and decided to check in the bar.
“What no Sean today?” I asked Carl looking at my watch strike midday.“Ugh. Not actually for the last four days…” Carl replied. I had seen him buzz in and out a few times but he made no eye contact, he practically ran out of the elevator. “You were pretty raw with him the other day. He’s obviously going through some stuff… he does rant a little to himself, but not much I can make sense of. But I know he’s not a drunk. I know one when I see one…” Carl replied.


“I was mean to him? Oh what a joke. He was so rude. So smug…” I hissed. I stopped and thought for a moment about what Carl had said and noticed a great change in Sean. Either side of him, he was still an ass. But he went from ‘charming’ to incredibly rude. Looking around for me, to avoiding me, and he had gone from wearing suits to daggy day wear. He was obviously not at work.

What was he doing here?

I decided I would go over the road to my favourite café and have something completely fattening to eat my feelings. I craved something greasy and delicious accompanied by something filled with cream and lathered in chocolate. Firstly I stopped at my local news stand to grab my paper before heading into the café so I had something to read. Just as I lent down to get the paper I noticed Sean’s face on more than two magazines. I rolled my eyes at first, but then the tagline on one of them caught my eye again, “Where is Sean Hyatt?” followed by another one saying, “Sean Hyatt found…” I grabbed one curiously and flicked though it knowing I had to read the damn article.


I tucked the paper and the magazine under my arm and gave the cashier some money. I had seen him on magazines with that Samara Beck on and off… But I wondered why people were looking for him in the first place.

After ordering coffee, cake and a hot dog I took my coffee over to an empty table and slapped my books on the table top. I looked at them both and wondered which to read first. I absolutely hated gossip magazines, and I couldn’t believe I was about to open one up just to spy on Sean Hyatt. But once I started reading I couldn’t stop myself. Reading the first  eagerly and then the second.



The news hit me like a thud of bricks. Was this really true? How long had it been … and was that the reason he wanted Major hotels in the first place? OH MY GOD… I mean oh my god… I thought actually beginning to feel sorry for him. He was me. I was him. He lost his, and I’ve lost mine. I was drunk, he was drunk… maybe I kept myself together publicly for the last few weeks … but he wasn’t… but at the same time he didn’t have to put a brave face on for anyone. He definitely acted how I felt. When I was in the privacy of my own home, I was an emotional mess and still had no idea how I got up for work each day knowing Major hotels was at its end. Just as I was ready to close the book a familiar name popped up at the top of the article.
“Pamela Cromwell?” I said softly, “Where have I heard that name before?” I thought. Oh my god, it’s that woman… That woman whose his friend. It felt like a massive plot unfolded. Did Sean even know he was in the magazines and she was spinning all his personal business about him? I didn’t know what had washed over me but I suddenly felt like the ass. Deep in thought, I was interrupted my a waiter plonking my meal in front of me.
“Thank you…” I said looking up at her. As I turned my head from her and around to my food, I froze. Sean. I gulped down.


Had he seen me aggressively scouring these books with his name plastered all over them? He was looking right at me. His eyes dark, un-brushed hair, a new beard that he completely didn’t suit. He finally looked away and stared down into his tea cup. How can I be sorry without having to say it?

How could I swallow my pride and tell him I didn’t mean it…??

I stared down at the magazines and thought that maybe I could do him a favour first and tell him about what I just read. I folded my magazines under my arm and grabbed my plate and walked over to his table.
“May I sit?” I asked quietly.
“It’s a free country…” he replied. After placing my things down I jiggled one foot up and down nervously not knowing how to start a normal conversation with him. I grabbed the book that said “Sean Hyatt Found” on it.
“I think you should read this. It might shed some light on the company you keep…” Sean looked at me confused seeing his name and picture on the front. He flicked through the magazine and found the headline again. I remained quiet while he read, but I skimmed over the book and tapped my finger tip on Pamela Cromwell’s name. His face fell.


He covered his face and sighed out loud tears coming to his eyes,
“Excuse me…” he said shoving the table out. He headed straight for the door. You could see the hurt and humiliation written all over his face. I wanted to call out, but I didn’t honestly know what i’d say to comfort him or help him.


Maybe I should have just bit my tongue.

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