Chapter 70

Where To From Here?

I couldn’t pretend. I couldn’t be here for her and pretend she wasn’t just fucking me over every single day while she knew my misery. She wasn’t a friend. She wasn’t anything. Not anymore. Pam was just another one to add to the list of people I couldn’t depend on.
Everyone knew my shit, and I knew Victoria’s enough to know that even after all these weeks of knowing her predicament she wasn’t coming to me for help. I wasn’t going back to The Hyatt for help. I had made my mind up, I was going back to Australia… to start over. I picked up my phone knowing Abby Greene’s number by heart. It was roughly 11pm at night in Sydney, and I knew she would be up at this hour.
“Hello?” I said hearing a loud sound in the background.
“Hey Justin here … who’s that?”
“It’s Sean…”
“Oh my god Sean, how are ya mate?” he replied happy to hear me. “I didn’t recognise your voice at first. You’ve gotten all pommy again. Like really thick pommy…”
“HA! Yeah. Ugh… so where’s the girl…?” I asked obviously referring to Abby.
“Can’t you hear? She’s out on stage still … doing her thing. I can’t even coax her off the stage at 5 months pregnant. She’s a force to be reckoned with, you know Abby…” I had forgotten that Abby was pregnant again. It had been 3 months since I has spoken to her. We texted every single week … and we often had a few face times… but they rarely worked out with bad reception.
“How’s the girls?” I asked him.
“Good. There with my dad tonight because they have school tomorrow…”
“Well uhm, Can you tell Abby I was looking for her…” I said.
“You alright Sean? You don’t sound… like yourself.”

“I’m okay. Wish I could talk. But could you pass on the message…”
“Sure thing, talk to you later…” Justin said politely. After I hung up I tucked my phone down into my pocket realising that I really had no one.

I just sat around the hotel just waiting for the phone to ring. I hoped Abby would call before Pammie got home. I didn’t honestly know how I was going to face her. I wanted to run from this too. All of a sudden there was a knock on the door. It was too early to be Pammie, and I dreaded that I was going to open my door to a flash in my face now that tabloids knew I was in St Albans.
“Who is it?” I asked.
“It’s Victoria…” she said chirpily. I didn’t want to see her either. I felt humiliated. She knew I was weak and I knew she was going to use it as an advantage to be superior, even though I knew her business was crumbling down. I slightly opened the door open and forced a weak  but crooked smile,
“Hi…” she made out. “I – I wanted to apologise…”
“For what?” I said leaning on the door.

“I didn’t mean to pry. Uhm. I didn’t know… But she … I mean did you know?” Victoria said awkwardly. It was the softest I had heard her voice. Usually her voice was serious and always laced with sarcasm.
“No. But I’ve come to expect everyone to either screw me or … hate me…” I said gulping down and looking her right in the eye. I felt that hit her right in the chest because her eyes winced as soon as I said it.
“Uhm. Sean I was wondering if you would give me a moment of your time? I want to discuss something with you. …” I pulled my door further open and invited her in.

I was standing around with only pants on and the hotel room was a complete mess. After I stepped out from the door she eyed me up and down and then centred her attention around the bottles and clothing that was scattered all over the room. “Uhm I don’t know where to begin. Do you mind if I sit here?” she said pointing to my bed.
“Yeah…” I said. She cleared her throat looking at my chest and then looked down into her lap. “Could you please put a shirt on so we can talk professionally…”

“What do you want Victoria?” I asked not wanting to fold to her demands.
“UGH… okay, okay after much consideration… I am willing to discuss Major hotels future with you.” She said speedily. I felt she had to blurt it out before she lost all confidence to say it.
“Look I don’t need a sympathy card…” I said shaking my head. I didn’t want her to feel like she was doing me a favour.
“Look this IS NOT a sympathy card. I am in the worst kind of shit. Like I’m fucking ruined OKAY?” she said aggressively. I was taken aback at first but at the same time when she spoke to me she couldn’t keep any eye contact with me whatsoever.
“Look I didn’t know about the Hyatt til today. I don’t even know what’s true. I just know where I am and where I stand financially,” she said clearing her throat and looking towards my chest once more, “Oh god! Would you PLEASE put on a damn shirt!” she said finished huffing at me loudly. I couldn’t help but smile inside because Victoria’s normally pale cheeks matched her fiery red hair.

Was she blushing?

I wanted to have the power in my room and make her uncomfortable. And regardless of the shit I was in I had the nerve to say,
“I did tell you it was only a matter of time and to not fight it…” I didn’t want to use the phrase ‘don’t say I didn’t tell you so’ because I could see her storming right out of here.
“You were right… and I feel like we could help each other right now…” she said screwing her face up.
“You had to compromise with your ego a little to say sorry to me… didn’t you?”
“Don’t be a smug prick about it. BUT this is about my love for this hotel. This is my life, this is supposed to be my legacy and my future. But I want to work here, I want the employees to stay….” She said nearly begging. Victoria and I were nearly in the same position and I thought about what had been ripped from me. My hotel. My legacy and my pride.
“Look I understand why you’re doing this. And what you’re asking of me. But face facts, you can barely tolerate me. If we work together … I don’t want to be around all this negativity. I’m struggling with enough demons right now. I don’t need to work with one.” Victoria’s mouth fell open.

“Look I am doing this purely because I have exhausted every option for myself. And I honestly didn’t think highly of how you ran the Hyatt. But since you’re out of work… I figured you had some time for at least a discussion about helping me…” I did want to help her. When she asked for help, I could see the desperation in her eyes.
“Look I don’t think I’m in a great head space to have a really serious conversation without really having a look at the books, and what kind of shit you’re actually in. But if you want to sit with me tomorrow when I’m more composed. We can…”
“Okay, we can talk at 9 if you’re feeling up to it?”
“See you at 9 Victoria…” I said ushering her toward the door. She smiled at me coyly and turned around and looked at me once more enough for me to smile at her. I pushed the door closed with my back and lent up against the door wondering what had forced her to want to have the talk.

Did she pity me? or was she at breaking point too?